This date two years ago was my last day going into my office on a full time basis. I remember it because everything felt really fucking weird like we shouldn’t actually just be going about living our lives and sitting on trains crammed full of other people openly coughing all over the place. It was a time when it was becoming abundantly clear that everything was about to change. Imminently.
And so when I shut down my computer that day I then didn’t step foot into that office for I think 6 months. There was that time in late summer of 2020 when everyone thought that things had gone back to normal, but then come October it was clear that that was not the case and we were almost back at square one. I think I only went in at most 4 times.
That means that somehow, I have spent two years sitting at my makeshift desk almost every single workday in my house and just going about my business. I say almost every single workday because at this point I am going into the office once a week. It’s not the same office that I left back in 2020, although I did go back to that one. This one is new, except it’s not really because it used to house a different part of the business that is now downstairs in the same building.
This change in location means there are elements of my commute that have changed. For the better. I no longer have to take the long way into work to avoid walking through a park that I could never walk through unscathed, day or night. It also means that I start work at roughly the same time as I do at home as my train pulls in at the same my weekday alarm goes off and then I am at a desk within 5 minutes. We don’t need to discuss the fact that I start work 5 minutes after I wake up.
The office is quieter now than it used to be in the before times. That’s not always a bad thing. I have gotten used to spending whole workdays on my own with nothing but the radio, a playlist, or a podcast to fill the silence. The one thing this pandemi lovato made me was more anti-social, or rather it just highlighted that I really do not see the point in talking just to talk. There is however the chance for off the cuff talks about Love is Blind or And Just Like That, which is a nice respite during the day. It is also typically my best shot at getting a flat white because the only kind of coffee I can make at home is black (although I have spent a lot of time wistfully searching single group head coffee machines that I could slot somewhere in my kitchen).
I also get to see more natural light in this new space. Previously the windows in front of me were tinted and so it always looked grey, even though I knew it wasn’t. The windows behind me could tell me otherwise, but they were behind me. If I get in at the right time then I can sit next to the radiator which is great right now because the weather is doing that weird not quite spring but not quite winter thing. Overall, it feels like a better space to have to exist in on the one day a week that I currently go in for.
A lot of the last couple of years has been shit, but I have also been privileged in a lot of ways and the ability to work from home really caused a shift in my priorities.
For example, because I work from one end of my living room at my dining table I have gotten a lot better at switching off at eh end of the day. Which sounds weird and like maybe the opposite should be true, but I hard exit my day every day and do not think about work when I flip my laptop lid shut and go and sit on the sofa. I don’t think about work again until I open it again the following morning - I used to really sit with a day and carry a lot of shit when I had to commute. I think the key thing that I learned was that generally speaking nothing is so important that it needs to eat up all your time and can’t just wait until morning. Especially if it is at the end of the workday and the chances are highly likely that you won’t get an email in response until the following morning.
I’m also a lot more religious about getting out in the middle of the day, and it’s funny because on Thursdays when I am in the office I do find myself feeling oddly guilty when I even think about popping out in the middle of the day to get a bit of fresh air. But at home, it’s a requirement. I’ve found exercising is much less of a chore because it doesn’t mean that I get home nearly two hours later than I would if I didn’t pop down to Shoreditch in order to get a class in. I mean, I also work out less, but I feel more consistent than ever with it somehow. The last couple of years have also helped me get rid of a lot of guilt attached to exercising, or in this case not exercising.
I dind’t use lockdown to learn a new language or anything like that, but I did get Pre and Post Natal and PT qualified which ain’t nothing.
The biggest thing that I got out of it though was a new spark in my creativity. I have spent a lot of years telling myself that I would finish the first draft of something but never actually got around to doing it. And I didn’t get around to doing it because I never prioritised it.
In November 2020 I discovered London Writers Salon and well, my creativity, as a result, has flourished. I literally dedicate one hour a day to getting something creative done (I sometimes manage to get two in and then if I’m on holiday I can hit 3 sessions). I get most of these newsletters done in that time. I’ve written several short stories that I’ve submitted to various things. I found myself with the time to carve out a plot and get some characters formed that actually feel like real people who want to move from point A to point B.
This is the first time, probably ever, where I have actually felt like I am gonna be able to make it to the end of a first draft. It’s also the first time where I have come to accept that that first draft is for sure going to be a shit show.
Here’s the biggest thing that I have learned creatively speaking; I just gotta write. The only thing that is important is that I have more words down a page than I did yesterday. And in doing that I actually find myself just writing a lot more. There are very few 0 days these days whereas before I would always find something else to fill my time with, so I had a lot of 0 days. And by having the 0 days I was feeding into the lack of creativity and it all just kind of stagnated that way.
There’s still some stagnation, but I move through it a lot quicker when I just accept that I don’t (in that moment) actually have writer’s block, I am just scared about writing shit.
It’s been a really weird couple of years. A period of time that we still aren’t really out the other side of yet. But it’s been a period of time where there has been a lot of personal change. And it’s not all been bad. Or more acccurately, I’m choosing to focus more on the positive…
Jumpin’ Jumpin’
What I’m reading - Still not circled back to Circus yet…oops. Instead, I’m about to move on to The Unhoneymooners - Christina Lauren (who is 2 people I recently discovered) because I am all for romances set in and around weddings and I like that I can just about get away with calling it ‘research’. (it’s an affiliate code)
What I’m watching - I watched all of Panic last weekend which was pleasant enough, I mean I enjoyed it and there is a certain freedom that comes from knowing that it was cancelled after 1 season because now I don’t have to impatiently wait for a new season to drop. Oh and also, watched a lot of Crufts because I love dog content.
What I’m listening to - I really wanna say that I’ve moved on from West Side Story, but like, that would be a lie…I am terrible when it comes to music right now, I will just rinse an album to death right now until I’m sick of it and then just forget about it for years…
Title Inspiration - September - Earth, Wind and Fire. Yes, I know it is not the 21st of September, but it is St Patrick’s Day, so happy that to all celebrate.
I have exciting news to share: You can now read The Giraffe Files in the new Substack app for iPhone.
With the app, you’ll have a dedicated Inbox for my Substack and any others you subscribe to. New posts will never get lost in your email filters, or stuck in spam. Longer posts will never cut-off by your email app. Comments and rich media will all work seamlessly. Overall, it’s a big upgrade to the reading experience.
The Substack app is currently available for iOS. If you don’t have an Apple device, you can join the Android waitlist here.